We have all heard the horror stories of relationships going wrong in the work environment and I was no stranger to this in my late teenage years.
It’s really hard working in a close environment with people that you are attracted to when you are young, horny and single. If you are anything like I was then all of the red flags are ignored and you are excited because somebody wants to flirt with you… yay…
I never knew what love was and my parents having copious amounts of short lived relationships translated to me that it wasn’t ok to be alone and that I should have someone at all times. I went through my younger years wondering why nobody loved me and practically begging for attention. I feel sad now thinking back to this time of my life and where I am now. I am so deserving of love, why I should ever degrade myself by begging someone for it is beyond me! But hey, these feelings need to be felt and experiences had to get you on the right path – regrets are banned here.
You will meet a million people throughout your career and of course, some will stick out to you at that moment in time and some may even become very special to you. It is important to see situations for what they are though. Relationships in a workplace can be highly damaging for those involved if it turns sour. If it is a fling, your colleagues may find out and you may be embarrassed and if it’s more than that and things go wrong then it may be difficult to stay in that job, working with that person which may cause you to leave. Obviously I am talking worst case scenario here but I just wanted to put a small warning in here of what can happen.
My advice to anyone wanting to date a colleague would be to find out who they are before jumping in. Some people can be completely different characters inside work to outside and it is important that you see them for who they really are. Go on dates and get to know each other by all means but set boundaries where you feel comfortable. Boundary setting is incredibly important so that you feel safe and secure in yourself and can manage your emotions properly so that you can steer the relationship in a way that you genuinely want and not just going for the ride (pardon the pun) on your partner’s journey.
Another tip that I might add is to make sure that you include some sober meet ups in here as I know when I was younger, my relationships and dates would be alcohol-fuelled and so my judgement would be heavily clouded. This led to me seeing people than gave me the ick when I was sober and being stuck in a situation that was really awkward to get out of.
You also want to be wary of friends that you make along the way. Some can be genuine but others can lead you down a bad path or stir drama up for the sake of it. I have been in numerous toxic work environments which have led me to be unwell, embarrassed, angry and every emotion under the sun. I have experienced it all. People being rude, sly, lazy, gossiping, people in cliques and the list could go on and on. The fact of the matter is that you arent going to get on with everyone and you are always going to find people who come under these categories in some of your environments but do not stoop to their level.
You should never treat somebody less, even if they are a lower grade or if you are frustrated or if they have made a mistake etc. There is no excuse UNLESS you have witnessed them making somebody else feel less. You have every right to back up somebody who is on the receiving end of some horrible comments because nobody deserves that.
You should treat everyone with respect as you never know who is going to be there to help you up to your next promotion or job or opportunity. This isn’t the only reason of course, everyone should be treated with respect regardless but don’t ever take anyone for granted as they could be the one to make or break your career in the future.
My goal in work is not to make friends but to be civil with everyone and then leave. Go home and feel good about my day. I don’t want any drama thank you so I will avoid it but being a loner if I have to. Work, imo, isn’t for making friends but others may think differently – I get that but all I can say is just be wary. Be wary what you tell people and how you act outside of work around them etc etc. You never know who will use this information against you.
Happy navigating your work relationships all x
I am always here for advice at [email protected]
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